13 Reasons I’m eating chocolate

Ok, I don’t allow myself these ranting-type raves very often *cough* but it’s been one hellava day so here goes:

Drawing a blank on new story ideas. Make that good new story ideas.. ones that have any chance at all of selling.

Wondering if I did start, could I finish? Will I even have time?

My house is a mess. I can’t think in a messy house and  tomorrow I’ll paint my den. Why? That’s the way my brain is working folks.

Why do I expect myself to be ‘normal’ so soon?

Because I have no other choice.

Black and blue from beating myself up.

Finally heard back from the agent who had the last full: No go. That’s a complete strike out

Again.

No luck finding a job.

Even received a ‘no thanks’ from the one I thought was a given.

You can only take so much rejection in so little time before you start feeling rejected.

Rejection sucks.

Men really, really suck

                   ~ Chocolate doesn’t.

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Can you hear that?

It’s the sound of the last nail in Awakening’s coffin. I know, dramatic, give me a break I’m dealing with something here. As you may of guessed I heard back from wonderful agent with a not-so-wonderful rejection of the manuscript. Don’t get me wrong, it was polite, respectful, even kind… and enough to make me want to scream. *Deep breath*

Yeah, I know I’ve moved on, but its hard to admit, even to yourself–maybe especially to yourself–that your baby is somehow flawed. I can almost hear SO take a deep breath to begin his ‘it’s a damn good book’ speech. And it is, and I know it, but even if it’s a flaw in timing, it’s still a flaw and it still isn’t a fraction closer to being published than it was a year or so ago when I decided to rescue it from the drawer. Quite frankly, chocolate is in order. To hell with the diet.

On another front (there’s always another front) Today was the first day back to school. We all woke up on time, all made it to school on time and when they were safely out the door, D4 and I cleaned the house… well the living room and kitchen with quick straighten of our respective bedrooms. But for hours today, the house, at least what visitors see, was clean. Yeah! And then I told D4 to watch tv for a half an hour(the length of a Diego episode) so mommy could work and then we’d play together. 34 minutes later, I walked out to see why she hadn’t held me to my bargain. Surprise surprise, she was sleeping! Yes, at 10 am, taking a nap. She doesn’t do that often anymore and I don’t encourage it. If it’s a matter of  her sleeping for a few hours during the day and staying up until midnight, or staying up all day and going to sleep early, I’ll pick the early. But at 10,  I mean that’s early enough that it shouldn’t affect her bedtime. Right? I’ll keep you posted. Anyway, I had two uninterrupted hours to write. That hasn’t happened, well, since she stopped taking her naps. It was nice, very nice and I got a lot of work done on some difficult chapters.

Well that’s the good and bad of it. And from the sound of things, it’s bath time.

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